My relationship: How we met and where we are now

As I mentioned in my previous post, I said I would introduce my boyfriend, Hayden. So here goes…

Hayden and I started dating on 10th February 2010. So we were around 13 years old and had just started year 8, which is the final year of middle school. Do you remember the days of MSN? Because that’s how we started speaking and then we realised that we both attended the same school. We started speaking in 2009 and I just thought he’s cool and I just made another friend – I didn’t think of it as anything more because I was 12. But then our friends kept teasing us that we should get together and be a couple – obviously at our age, Hayden and I didn’t see each other as anything more.

Then in late 2009-2010, income the feelings. I started to have a crush on Hayden, not sure why, but it just happened. Funnily enough, I didn’t want to have a crush on my friend because he didn’t see me as anything but a friend. So I repressed my feelings for him. It didn’t work out too well, once I had discovered he had a crush on another girl in our year. So silly 13-year old me thought it was both the ‘end of the world’ and a ‘relief’. Remember, I didn’t want to have a crush on my friend but at the same time I was like ‘noooo!’.

Once February 2010 came around and his feelings had disappeared for this girl; my friend at the time suggested I ask Hayden to be my boyfriend as aΒ dare. I thought ‘sure why not? he’ll end up saying no anyway‘, but I was also really anxious what his response would be and whether it would give me closure to not pursue him any further. So, on MSN I was still speaking to Hayden and I just popped in the question “will you go out with me?“. That was the old way of asking someone to be your boyfriend; nowadays everyone proposes that they’re ‘seeing each other’. Anyways, his response was “noΒ haha“. My heart didn’t exactly break because I kind of expected it, so I replied with “oh ok”. Then that’s where he asked “wait? were you being serious?” and I replied “yup”, so he paused for a moment and said, “I’m going to go for a shower now, I’ll speak to you in a bit”. Literally the most suspenseful moment of my life. I had to wait for him to get back to me on my question of dating me.

Hayden finally came back online after his shower and he popped up first saying ‘hi’. I was too afraid to even say hello because I’m pretty sure things were awkward between us. The friend who had dared me started sending the messages to me that she had with Hayden. He was panicking to her, asking her whether I was being serious or not and he didn’t know if he would date me. But my friend prompted him to say yes to my question because he can see how our relationship goes and if it doesn’t work out, we could always break up and remain friends. So Hayden got back to me and said “yes”. I was so so happy at this point and surprised that he even agreed to be my boyfriend!

But my moment of happiness went past quickly. The next day (11th February 2010), I had been told that Hayden was also talking to another girl and she was planning to ask him out… my heart sunk. I thought I had taken him away from her, which I did but it wasn’t my intention. So I told my friend “oh no, I should probably break up with him so he can be with her”, but she told me I was being silly and should enjoy my new found relationship with Hayden. To this day, I’m still enjoying my relationship with him! I think it’s kind of a funny story to tell people how we met etc, but I just love that even though it was kind of an awkward start – everything just fell perfectly into place!

Today marks our monthly anniversary and we’ve been together for 6 years and 11 months! It still baffles me how we’ve managed to come this far but I’m happy!

Our long distant relationship

In 2015, Hayden received his acceptance to study at the University of Bath – which is great! I was still studying my final year at college, so that makes me a year behind. It all started to get too real… like ‘omg we have to manage not seeing each other every day’. So, in came the worries and tears once September 2015 came around when we had to say bye to each other. I’m not great when it comes to goodbyes, I don’t think a lot of people are, but I had so many worries that being 6 hours away from each other would put a strain on our relationship. That maybe one of us would get too impatient of waiting and be tempted to cheat.

I do trust Hayden, but everyone worries about these things! Especially when you don’t know what your other half is doing. I was too worried to ask my mum if I could visit Hayden because of money etc, but to my surprise, she was okay with it. She could see how upset I was about him leaving because this is was all a new thing to me. So I told Hayden and we arranged a date that I could visit him and then I booked my train tickets. I was so happy and started to countdown the number of days left until I got to be with him again.

I’ve never been to any other places in England apart from London and Norwich, so Bath was a whole new place to me. Once I arrived in Bath after the tedious long journeys for 5-6 hours, I arrived and it was a really nice city. I think seeing Hayden after one month of our long distant relationship was one of the most happiest moments of my life. The saddest part was when I left again and I couldn’t stop crying for the whole day. The whole day. People on the train just had to put up with a girl sobbing on the train with a never ending runny nose. It’s kind of funny and sad now when I think about it.

Hayden and I visit each other every month at least. Once a month usually. Of course, the wait is excruciating because we would rather be next to each other but this is how it is. We don’t even Skype that much because he’s busy or my internet at uni is horrendous. We talk almost every day so there’s always some form of communication. The only way we cope with this relationship is solely through communication, seeing each other once a month and the odd phone conversation when we miss each other’s voices.

I’m debating whether to write another post on tips of how to tackle long distant relationships but I feel like that topic has been written so many times, that they all sound remotely the same.

Care to share your love story? I’d love to read them!

Speak again soon,

Tina

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